The New mary Jane

Friday, September 22, 2006

"Don't Eat Those Onions!" and Other Things to Avoid on a Date

Okay, so enough with good old fasioned rock n' roll for a minute. It's time to look at love. That's right ladies and gents. If you're going out for gigs and meet a girl (or guy, for the ladies), you have to impress her/him. You can't just share a banana shake and hope they'll sleep with you. Unless they're a hooker, in which they'll be happy for the banana, even though they were going to sleep with you anyway.

I don't know what you should do, to make your date hot and romantic, but here are things you should definetly NOT do.

1. Don't eat onions: When you're out on a date with a hot girl, or a hot guy, you don't want to have breath that smells like onions. I learned that the hard way. And if you see your boyfriend/girlfriend about to eat something that has onions, ask them to take those damn things away. It may seem rude, but honestly ladies, we'll be glad to not eat our bagal and still make out afterword, than vise-versa.

2. Don't touch your partner's face: This might seem weird, but the face isn't a good place for your hands to be (especially because they're so many better places for them to discover) It's in
trusive, if you have your hands all up in their eyes. Plus, they can get acne. SO, kee your hands away from your girl/guy's face. Unless they have an itch. Then releave them.

3. Wear a chapstic: You know how there's rough sex. Well, rough kissing doesn't really work out. It's just so hard on our fragile tounges. So, get those lips chap-less, quick. To have some fun with this quirky and possible embarssing situation, get flavored chapstick. I suggest strawberry.

4. Always arrive on time: You don't want to keep your man or girl waiting. That's not polite. Plus, while they're wating, say at Macs, maybe they'll run into some other attractive person, and say things like "How you doin'!" and "I like your shirt" and "Wow, you have a smokin' body. I bet it'll be good in bed." And before you know it, your boyfriend/girlfriend is gone off with some next person. All because you were afraid to run a red light.

5. Don't smoke weed before going on a date: Or atleast TELL your girl/man that you are high, so they'll know what to accept. Although, if you're going to break up with them that day, I sugget getting a bit baked. Just to ligten the atmosphere.

That's all for now. Peace,

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

An absolutely wonderful guideline. Bestest tips I've ever seen!