The New mary Jane

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

iWant Apple

Pub - Apple : iMac Ruby
Video sent by babgond

I'm writing this blog at a Mac store, gawk-eyed at how gorgous Apple products are. I can't even call them products. They're creatures - you don't like them, you love them.

Don't get any ideas, though, I'm not about to go on a date with this sexy little MacBook, with the matte finish, glossy screen and vibrant colors. Yea ... see what I mean?

It's just, looking at this MacBook, along with the iPods and iMacs scattered around the room, it's hard not to be overjoyed at how dazzling technology can be. Now, I'm probably giving off this impression of some weired ass geek, who sits at the back of the class and gots shit down on a piece of paper - the latter part of which may not even be that far from the truth. But I'm not that at all. I'm just a consumer, in world of media. I know - poor me.

And there are millions upon millions of companies that want to sell products to me. It's my job to weed out the garbage - that means cheesy flash MP3 players, bad speakers, and anything that runs Windows. But with all the junk that companies - corporations - try to sell to me, there has always been this one lone star who's never, ever dissapointed me.


When Apple re-introduced the iMac in 1997, I was hooked. I couldn't believe how gorgeous the thing was. An entire computer, fitted together with God hands into a transparent, Blondie-blue frame.

And then they topped themselves a few years later. And then again. iMacs got more beautifull, gained the respect from cititics across the personal computer globe, annd became objects of honor in a world dated with Microsoft's Windows - our villian in this story.

And then, just when you though Apple couldn't hook us anymore, they launched a little MP3 player called the iPod, and changed the way we listend to music.

Even today, with this brand spanking new MacBook I'm writing on, Apple continues to change the way we behave. They have a philosphy that breaks ground as it expands: make beautiful products. Sound familiar? It's the same philosphy used by Hollywood, which employs only the most beautiful people as actors and actresses.

By inventing products which marvel people, Apple has held a spot that no one else in the computer industry has held for long: pop culture supremecy. Their computers are loved, music players adored and laptops, well, just Google MacBook and you'll know what I'm talking about. And why?

The answer is in a phrase of a question. Who doesn't love beauty?


Sunday, September 24, 2006

Paul Is Dead!

It's the first ever edition of "The Rumor Mill", where we count down the greatest rumors in Rock N' Roll history. (Okay, so it's a copy of MMM's "Listed", but what are you going to do, right?)

Okay, our rumor this week: Paul Is Dead!

The "Paul Is Dead Hoax" began on a rainy day 8th of November, in 1966, where Paul Mccartney was driving home in a car, after a rather nautious studio session. He spotted a hitchhiker, a young girl, and decided to pick her up. Upon seeing who was driving, the young girl screamed in joy, severly distracting Paul. He sverved to and from the road, and eventually crashed in a blaze of fire. (This crash is apprantly discribed in detail, with audio footage, in "Revolution 9" of the "The Beatles (The White Album)".

The Beatles, distraught with the news of McCartney death, panicked. They didn't want to lose they populatiry they had achieved over the years. So they decided to have a Paul McCartney look-a-like contest. The winner would replace Paul Mccartney, in real life.

William Shears Campbell, Billy Shears won the covetted honor. Of course, he didn't know what he was getting into. From then on, he became Paul McCartney.

Belive it? Don't belive it? Well they're more ...

The ledgend has it that the Beatles left clues on their albums. If you dug though their covers, records and lyrics, you would find clues that would tell you about Paul's death.

The clues are detailed under this beautifully constructed wiki. Check it out yourself. R.I.P Paul ... if you dare ...

Saturday, September 23, 2006

The Early Beatles

Video sent by LittleBuddha

Man I got the school blues. Buss-ing everyday for two hours, grulling reading sessions. DAMN! So, when nothing else works, you can always rely on the Beatles to cheer you up.

And if you're (yes you) looking for something to get you off your sorry ass - I suggest you go down to the pub first. Have a few with your mates. But if you're tired of getting hangovers, then turn up some Beatles music, circa the Early Years.

If you're tired of schoo, you probably don't want a history lessons, so here's the brief. The Beatles introduced a new sound to music in 1963, and rock n' roll was never same. It was like classic Buddy Holly-Elvis Presley shit, but with more electricity, more atmostphere, more liveliness.

So, here's a tribute to those early tracks which took the rock world by storm. My favorite music genre (Skiffle) is on here, as well as some classic Liverpudlian tracks. It'll cheer you up, mate.

1. The Night Before (Help!) - This track is the signature Skiffle track, curtosy Mecca. It's got a good chorus, and the bridges arn't half ass either. Plus, you'll be singing along in no time to the infectious beat. "We said our good buuuyyyssss .. the night before." It's real moody.

2. What You're Doing (Beatles VI) - Again, this continues the tradition of having a really heavy and - as someone i know would say, "beaty" - chorus. You'll be humming "Girl - what you doinnggg" over and over again. They're a beautiful harmonic duet with the rhythem guitar and electric piano - all laced with a bridge that sounds almoast as good as the chorus. Can't get enough of this song.

3. She's a Woman - This is what I mean by electricty in rock 'n' roll. The guitar starts it of - almost Kink-like - with a steady beat that stays with you the whole song. Then the messy, rough, almoast breaking vocals come in. "My lovvee, don't buy me presents." Been there, done that, eh men?

4. A Hard Day's Night - This is from their film - the "one that we made in black and white. One was black and white, one was colored. This is from the black and white one." That was John introducing this number at the Hollywood Bowl. This song takes you from the first notes, and never really lets go. From the early chorus, to the bridge, to the "when I'm home / everything seems to be right" verses, you just can't go wrong with this song. It's so perfect, with the construction, the rhythem guitar solo, the screams. Everything really does seem to be all right.

5. Can't Buy Me Love - My favorait part? "My baby tells me so ..." But there are many melodies in this tune, and you just can't go wrong, because you'll have to like one part or another. Paul sings this baby with a passion. Just the only thing I don't like about this song is that it's hard to sing along. "I don't care to much for money?" Common, man, my fucking textbooks costs a hundred dollars ...


Friday, September 22, 2006

"Don't Eat Those Onions!" and Other Things to Avoid on a Date

Okay, so enough with good old fasioned rock n' roll for a minute. It's time to look at love. That's right ladies and gents. If you're going out for gigs and meet a girl (or guy, for the ladies), you have to impress her/him. You can't just share a banana shake and hope they'll sleep with you. Unless they're a hooker, in which they'll be happy for the banana, even though they were going to sleep with you anyway.

I don't know what you should do, to make your date hot and romantic, but here are things you should definetly NOT do.

1. Don't eat onions: When you're out on a date with a hot girl, or a hot guy, you don't want to have breath that smells like onions. I learned that the hard way. And if you see your boyfriend/girlfriend about to eat something that has onions, ask them to take those damn things away. It may seem rude, but honestly ladies, we'll be glad to not eat our bagal and still make out afterword, than vise-versa.

2. Don't touch your partner's face: This might seem weird, but the face isn't a good place for your hands to be (especially because they're so many better places for them to discover) It's in
trusive, if you have your hands all up in their eyes. Plus, they can get acne. SO, kee your hands away from your girl/guy's face. Unless they have an itch. Then releave them.

3. Wear a chapstic: You know how there's rough sex. Well, rough kissing doesn't really work out. It's just so hard on our fragile tounges. So, get those lips chap-less, quick. To have some fun with this quirky and possible embarssing situation, get flavored chapstick. I suggest strawberry.

4. Always arrive on time: You don't want to keep your man or girl waiting. That's not polite. Plus, while they're wating, say at Macs, maybe they'll run into some other attractive person, and say things like "How you doin'!" and "I like your shirt" and "Wow, you have a smokin' body. I bet it'll be good in bed." And before you know it, your boyfriend/girlfriend is gone off with some next person. All because you were afraid to run a red light.

5. Don't smoke weed before going on a date: Or atleast TELL your girl/man that you are high, so they'll know what to accept. Although, if you're going to break up with them that day, I sugget getting a bit baked. Just to ligten the atmosphere.

That's all for now. Peace,

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Rake It Up (Take The Dust)

Here's the song from my mixtape project for Mass Communication at Guelph Humber.

Vocals: Taxali
Lyrics: Taxali
Mixing Sessions: Take 1 and Take 2 w/ Dj Em

People on the streets, man forget dress shoes
Living up in street corners, getting’ off at ‘ses pools
The gun rate, has suddenly come up state, disgusted
It’s like we got a new death ever Sunday
People crying over stupid conflicts
Murder next door, like we room with convicts
Kid coping sticks, in the parking lot with ‘ick
Where’s his momma, she’s supposed to be watching him
Boy’s homeless, in a split second
One day he’s giving tests and the next he’s sleeping under the business section
He might get work, for what his life is worth
He’ll probably spend the night in dirt with two lights and percks
Hop on the bus the next day and get ses paved
Having to cop braids from the money that has last job paid
Wasting quarters in arcades, looking for life in a dark age
Getting’ hammered like a barkeep, words flashing around his eyes like marquee
The whole world around be like an anarchy
He’s living like Hutch and Starsky
Plus he’s broke, living in muddied homes
And rent, how’s he ‘posed to make it up
He can’t even make enough to take the bus and rake it up
‘Cos they’re no office job for a kid who’s off his knocker
He lives by swearing offers, got no money to be wearing Dockers
Ever since he was two he was staring awkward
And slowing cops, working in low end jobs
So take this dust and kick it, he’s just so sick it
The bruise won’t go no where when he lick it

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Arctic Monkeys are LIVE

Arctic Monkeys - Scummy
Video sent by captainfromtrashland

You know what we call real dope records in North America? Live. It's a term of respect, if you're record is "live". If you're live, then you must be doing something real good, and whatever music your churning out, it's working wonders for the audience.

I don't know how the term started. Maybe because KISS's live albums were so fantastic that pretty soon, the phrase became like a priviledge. But enough about KISS. Really, it's all about the Arctic Monkeys.

Don't be fooled by the name. They're the hottest band in the UK, they've broken countless records, sold billions of albums. There first single, "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" has sold better than hotcakes.

And, yes, they're live. And I use that term in both ways. Sure, they're wickedly good, with messy guitar sounds and beautifull chords that mimic a sort of Kinks-ish atmostphere. But they're also "live" ... litterally.

If you've ever had a chance to see this band live, you've gotten a treat. Even hecklers have a good time at there shows. They're singalongs, they're ranchyness, and waves of people carrying more people on their arms.

Check this video out. I'm glad rock music still has this kind of a dirty, pretty atmosphere.


Sunday, September 17, 2006

YouTube: It's the Next FOX News

Sometimes, looking at a picture of something hits you harder than reading about it. Our eyes just seem to explore every nook and cranny of a subject - and it doesn't even have to be a specific thing. Our eyes enduldge everything from sex to tragedy.You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? Sometimes, it's worth a lot more than that. Sometimes, images that you see effect you harder than the words that you take in. (Postman - shoot me now)

That's one of the reasons YouTube is so famous. People can post up anything they want. They can post about themselves - how bloody hot they look in a bikini - or they can post something that's been on the news - like, say, NASA's Mission to the ISS.

And people tune in like they're no tomorrow. Because, really, they're isn't. In the world where images are always flashing (not litterally, perverts) at you, things get old real quick. What was hot today - a video of a cat trying to use the toilet - becomes cold the very next day. People start to wonder why they ever found this cat hillarious to watch. (I actually wondered that from the very first day.)

YouTube all of sudden is the next FOX News. Teens and adults and everyone in between tunes in daily, weekly or monthy, to explore and discover the happenings or a mediocre pop culture.

This became apparent in a tragedy that happened close to home, the other day. In Montreal, at Dawson College, more than a dozen students were shot, one fatally, by a gunman named
Kimveer Gill. Seing the images on the video screens brought back memories of Colorado - where a horrifically similiar version of this event took place, taking the likes of innocent school go-ers at Columbine Highschool.

And while these images were replayed over and over again on Fox, the BBC, CBC, CTV and other local Canadian and American television stations, it was once the videos were posted on YouTube did this whole "image" thing take off. Suddenly, average internet go-ers were given a backstage pass at horror. A YouTuber even said, "This is what YouTube was made for."

I think that a place where a generation can meet up and exchange ideas is good. If that place be YouTube - well, so be it.



Friday, September 15, 2006

Don't Bogart These Joints: Some Good Tolks

Man I got a good idea for this next blog. You ready? A list of classic disks that, even after years of sub culture backlash, still remain as lively and fresh as they did when you first slit them out of their packaging. Basically, good records that remain good after years and years.

I can't finish this list, not at one go. I'll keep working on this blog man, but here are some I can think of in a minute.

These are records that bought the minute - err, stole the minute - they were released. They never leave your car's cd changer, and are always on your "Recently Played" list.

The Beatles - Abbey Road, Revolver, Let It Be and Pepper
Dr. Dre - The Chronic (and then Chronic 2001)
Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction
Appetite for Destruction
with ATLiens and Stankonia

Nas - Illmatic
B.I.G - Ready To Die
Eminem's Marshall Mathers and Slim Shady LP's
Jay Z - Blueprint (people have SHIRTS with the cover on it)
Oasis's (What's The Story) Morning Glory? and Definitely Maybe
Definitely Maybe
The White Stripes - Elephant
The Strokes - Is This It
Big L - Lifestylez Ov Da Poor and Dangerous

Edits: Here's some more records, as suggested by you

2Pac - All Eyez On Me, 2Pacalypse Now, Me Against the World
Snoop's Doggystyle
Common BE and
Me Against the World
Bone Thugs - E.1999
Goodie Mob's Soul Food
Rakim and Eric B's Paid in Full
Paid in Full
Big Pun - Capital Punishment
OutKast - Aquemeni
Royce Da 5"9 - Death Is Certain
It Was Written
Nas - It Was Written
Joe Budden - Mood Muzik 2
Mobb Deep - Infamous

Thanks to my man Vinyl for digging though some old shit and finding disks like


K-Fed's New Hip Hop "Record"

K-Fed's new hip hop record (I'll call it that just this once) is a joke. Now, that's biased, I know. I haven't listened to the entire disk. Heck, I've only heard his "single" (again, I'll call it that just this once), when he performed it live (yea, I know, just this once) on the Teen Choice Awards.

It was horrible, man, real horrible. I don't even care who I'm talking to, but it doesn't matter. No matter what demographic you're from, you can't appreciate this shit. (To prove my point, I was looking through the Us Weekly forums, and even they, celebrity worshipers, couldn't say one good thing about it).

Did you see the album cover? It's K-Fed sitting on a table, dealing cards. They're also cigarettes, and, err, a drink on fire.

So, anyway, since I don't want to talk about his record - oh, right, sorry, his trash - anymore, I was just wondering what K-Fed means to our generation. Like, who IS he? And have there been people like him in previous generations? Artists who are scrutinized by the press, trashed by the critics and laughed at by the fans?

Ok, Vanilla Ice comes to mind. But then you can't just dismiss K-Fed as Vanilla Ice's sequel; because Ice had a hit single. He had at least two songs that were in the Billboard Top 20, and one (Ice Ice Baby) that was in everyone's minds. K-Fed doesn't have that at all.

You can't compare him to the likes of the Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, or even their distasteful cousins, 98 Degrees and O'Town. Those groups were in the public consciousness because of their singles, as well as their looks and pre-made images. But they weren't images alone; K-Fed is just an image, a rather disturbing one, with a wife beater and smokes. He has no hit singles. No catchy tunes. So why the hell is he so famous?

Ok, so I know this blog isn’t done, but I can’t find a comparison for K-Fed. There are, I’m sure, lots of K-Fed’s in the music industry. I just can’t think of them right now, because I’m real tired.


PS. Sigh of relief, though. Straight hair works for Britney.